Affectionate touch- Translattion by Dr. Kampella RaviChandran

వనజ తాతినేని

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తెలుగు మూలం -ఆత్మీయస్పర్శ- వనజ తాతినేని

It was summer. No matter how soft the pillow is, I was getting messed up under it.
If she is not there, I cannot even feel like doing something even for a minute, why doesn’t she understand? Hope she removes it and throws it outside.  I can atleast see everyone and relax. I feel irritated to sit like this with nobody greeting me and unable to move.

Just like everyday, she didn’t take me in her arms and turned me either side , touching me softly and seeing me with a laugh and not talking like usual.  Though I was in her hands, her look was on the clock . Happiness was dancing on her face for minute by minute.  It made me tearful,  the smile on lips,  and the heart which was beating fastly.

Son called after getting down the flight. Thank god! I got some movement.  He asked me where I was.  When I said I am not coming to the airport,  he was disappointed.  But he immediately relaxed and said its okay.  Your father in law is coming to receive you, that’s why I am not coming I said.  Your luggage is too big for one car isn’t it, that’s why I arranged another car , she said.

“where is the car driver who came for me mom? Send me his number.” She gave the driver’s number.

The driver is a fast driving guy.  His name is Stalin.  She was surprised to hear his name for the first time.  My Dad is a fan of Stalin ma’am, that’s why he kept that name for me. He said.“See Stalin, you should bring my son carefully. Don’t drive rash”, she warned the driver and also said to the father in law, “The driver is too rash, you please tell him to reduce the speed in between.  She told precautions and kept me away again.

Since the car started, her eyes were on the clock.  Mango dal, potato fry,  bhendi coconut fry,  and gongura pickle was made by her. These are the favorite dishes of her son it seems.  The moment he comes, she was saying she will feed the son.  The old woman was murmuring why can’t the latter cook the same way for her son.  She extracted the mango juice and kept it in fridge for coolness. No matter how much work she did, the time was 10:30, she was irritated to see the time go so slowly!
From Shamshabad airport to Vijayawada.  289 plus six is equal to 295 kilometers will take four and half hours.  She was estimating that they might have come till Suryapet.  She tried to get a nap in between and suddenly got up to see the clock. Maybe she remembered my use then,  she took me to hands and said, “ Dear, till where did you come up! Did the kids eat anything? Stop in between and eat something!”. She greeted. And again slept.

When she needs to do wedding arrangements,  invite the relatives and friends and to buy things, she remembers me well.  She might take me for granted now but she is really nice.  She has reserved nature , by bearing  things on her shoulder,  accumulating energy,  looking after financial matters,  facing some dissatisfaction and waits for the day when her dream to come true.  In fact, she really talks to people only through me but never face to face.

After some time, I got relief from silence again.  Words flew through me. “Brother, till where did you come?”, she asked.  We came off , we are near auto nagar he said and she immediately took me in her hands and ran towards outside. The snoring sound of her son, father in law, mother in law . None of them were waiting the arrival.  She was irritated seeing what sort of persons they are.  Love, hatred or anything comes only after sleep! She was murmuring this and went to open the gate lock . She came down three floors not to disturb the sleeping people with the lift sound. The watchman was sleeping with mosquito nets.  Not to disturb his sleep, she came out of the gate and stood on the road.

She never lets her legs be idle even for a minute.  She was moving here and there and was eagerly looking at the edge of the street. She was seeing if any car is coming from the Machilipatnam road. Car wasn’t coming but police patrol van came. Seeing her on road, the van slowed down.  She walked near them and said ,” Sir, my son is coming from abroad that’s why I am waiting here!”, they said okay and went ahead.

After two minutes of their departure, an innova car came.  She was searching for her son in the car wondering which side he is sitting.  These people have so much love for children  and for the first time she felt bad that her mother was not there. When the car stopped , and she put the hand on the car handle to open the back door,  the son opened the door from inside and greeted her.

When she saw her son standing in front of her, inexplicable sadness crept her. She hugged him saying my darling,  She flooded him with tears of happiness.  She became like a tiny bird in the hands of her son. “I don’t know how I lived these four years my darling.  I was constantly praying god to keep you safe  and your mom lived only for you my dear!”, she was extremely moved.

“Mom, please don’t cry. I cannot bear if you cry like this.  I came off now right? Silly mom!”, he cried with tears in eyes.  Yet she was crying.  Why are you crying mom? See? I am good only.  You only see how I have become. “, he said by patting her head.

She thought of many things in her mind before.  As she is used to secure all her words within me,  I know all those words long back.  She writes stories and poems isn’t it? As she saved all those with me, I got them by heart.

Darling…Before every meeting, the sadness of estrangement keeps beside it,do you know? Shall I say that this mother hid the sea of sadness within her and stayed calm outside?

The would be daughter in law was shocked looking at the love between mother and son.Immediately she realized that the daughter in law might be feeling bad for not greeting her, and said ”Dear, how are you?”, by taking her closer. Don’t worry aunty, we all will be together from now, she consoled.  This girl knows the art of consoling.  She got the luggage from the car.  She gave the backpack and the wallet having passport to the son. My would be daughter in law is a girl of fortune.  Thinking she will look after the son quite well, the mother said, “Okay ma, we will meet tomorrow.  “ while both were taking the luggage towards the lift,  the son said he will bring the luggage and asked her to stay put.  I felt how much of love son has for her.  The watchman said he will bring all the luggage.

With the sound of suitcase, people in the house started yawning and getting up and said Chinni already has come.  Everybody was happy.  Looking at all of them being happy, even I felt very happy.  She switched on the geyser for him to have bath.  He was saying what’s the necessity of hot water in summer.  She said that’s how it is, and asked him to have bath and went off to bring food.  She was waiting eagerly to feed her son by going near the table with curry vessels, ghee, curd,  rice vessel, plate,  and water.

By shining once you make use of me everyday but today you are not bothering me I said angrily.  She smiled and said please wait, you will get answer soon.

By feeding the son with food and controlling the tears, she said Dear, even if you didn’t like I requested you and sent to abroad. You went abroad, studied well, doing a great job , and we could buy plots, car and house. Though we are happy financially some void was there.  I wanted some security and peace which all these couldn’t give.  I didn’t laugh wholeheartedly , didn’t eat fully,  didn’t sleep peacefully.  Every minute I felt some anxiety. In every relationship there was some unrest.

Her tears continued flowing. He remembers the days when she fed her son with the manual stove food. She remembers the mirchi powder rice to be considered as a delicious sweet also. Remembers the struggle of mother when he was 7 years old.  He remembers father’s disinterest also.  I used to feel that he was a missed goat. Despite being with relatives you still faced loneliness, mom!”, he said.

Dear, in the affectionate greetings of relatives, I saw insults and jealousies. Doing a small help, they assume that without them we cannot do anything.  By identifying a small weakness, they think they are the greatest people.  These people are around us.  I am eagerly waiting for love filled affection.  I am waiting for the affectionate touch since years  my dear.  When I was hospitalized two years go, I wanted to make sure you would not be knowing about it dear.  I was confident that I can overcome the disease by myself. “, she kept on crying saying this.

“See, this- she took my by her left hand and kept me away.  With touch, you can play any game. In a split second, we can see each other and talk to each other. We can share long write ups, whether it will rain, or it is sunny,  and it will tell us where we are going.  But can this give me an affectionate touch? Can it relive me of my sadness with a touch? Hoping that the son’s future is good,  financial problems will go, and sending the children to abroad- all such parents lose this affectionate touch.

They neither can go there or those people can come here- as a result ,they live like living dead bodies.  They wait eagerly for the day when the distance comes to an end.  Don’t know what is found there, but this worth of crores can be found here.  I have been dying for this touch my dear”, she said.

I felt ashamed then. People like me might be in crores.  With us, the human’s external needs might be met.  But we cannot give the lively touch between two humans.  Any love can go off between two people but the love between mother and son can never melt or reduce. I thought.  Why did god didn’t give us touch who made us? Maybe touch is that great.  Some things perhaps cannot be made.  Damn, my lifeless living is wasted! I felt and saw them.

The son took his mom to his arms and by caressing her head, he said, “ Silly mom!”, out of love.  She was lost in the affection of her son and in the midst of her tears, and her husband also held his head in shame like me seeing this.

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